The distance from the parking lot to the front door seemed to be thousands of miles to them. When they walked in, she signed her name on the list. They then took a seat in the cold waiting area.
“I’m scared and I really don’t know if this is the right thing to do,” Julia whimpered.
“Well, you should already know what I’m gonna say,” the little girl said.
“Yeah I do. But would I be able to do this?” Julia said questionably.
“I think so,” the little girl said. “You’re smart, you work, and you have experience. I mean you are the oldest grandchild, right?”
“Yeah, that’s true. I have been changing diapers since I was eleven. But what about school and work?”
“Considering I have never been to work or school a day in my life,” the little girl mumbled, “I don’t know what to tell you. I guess we’re, well, I’m just shit out of luck huh?”
“Not really. My heart is telling me not to do this, but my mind is telling me that this is the only way to guarantee that I’ll continue going to school and working. Pretty selfish huh?”
“No not selfish, just very productive thinking. Come on now, you should know that you are not the first girl to ever be in this situation.”
“Yeah, but the girls always end up alone, pissed off, and fighting for child support,” Julia said angrily.
“Unfortunately that is oh so very true,” the little girl said with a giggle. “But hey, you have a great guy. He’ll be there for you.”
“I don’t know how this happened,” Julia said with a searching look on her face.
“Well when a man inserts his penis into a woman’s…,” the little girl said jokingly.
“Obviously I know that. I was careful. We were careful. I don’t get it.”
“What did he have to say about all of this?”
“I didn’t tell him,” Julia said, looking away in shame.
“Yeah umm….don’t you think he deserves to know?”
“I don’t want to have to deal with all the chaos that may come with this.”
“Okay now you are being selfish. He has a say in this just as much as you do. Call him right now and let him know,” the little girl sneered at Julia.
“I can’t call him right now while I’m here. Plus I don’t even know exactly what to say.”
“Just call him damn it!” the little girl yelled.
She grabbed her cell phone dialing the number as fast as she could. With her leg shaking with anticipation, she heard his voicemail starting to play.
“He didn’t answer, and I am not leaving what I have to tell him in a voice message,” Julia said.
“I wasn’t gonna tell you to. I think you should tell him before you go through with this,” the little girl said.
“You’re right, but I just don’t know how to go about this. I don’t want to end up making the same mistake my mother did,” Julia said rubbing her stomach. “So what is your name?” Julia asked in a whisper.
“Now how the hell would I know?”
“It was a rhetorical question smart ass,” Julia said laughing. “I was thinking Da’Shawn Domaneke or Alijah Da’Shawn.”
“I like Alijah. I look like an Alijah.”
“Ok I’ll take your word for it….Alijah,” Julia said with a smile. “So I guess we can leave now, which is good because I’m very hungry,” she said getting out of her seat.
“I’m hungry too. Let’s get two cheese coneys, caramel ice cream, Doritos, strawberry milk, and a donut,” the little girl said with her eyes close picturing the meal in front of her.
“That sounds so good. Hey Alijah….,” Julia stopped and said.
“Yes…”
“I love you,” Julia said with a hopeful grin.
“I love you too, mommy,” the little girl said with a warm and loving feeling.
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